Her Disguise is Strength

You know her. She’s strong and beautiful and crushes every goal. She is smart, accomplished, funny and seems to have it all together. She’s educated, wise, practical and even with all her practicality she is spontaneous, creative and fun. She is the one that walks into a room and owns it. Everyone knows her, loves her, looks up to her, and she lights up a room just by showing up. Other people envy her outspokenness and wit and are attracted to her grace and the elegant ebb and flow when she walks. She commands attention whether in the boardroom, classroom or at home. She is the one that makes everyone wonder, “how does she do it?”

She is the life of the party, but yet the most grounded person you’ve ever met. She is the one you think to call during times of need, because she is always willing to be the shoulder you cry on. She is the one who allows herself to be the good spirit you glean from. She is the one full of advice and wisdom and can always put a smile on your tear-filled face. She is the one you hold onto because you know there aren’t many people out there who would drop everything for you in a heartbeat like she would. She puts herself aside because your happiness is more important than her own.

But that strong well put together woman you know and love, is the one who cries herself to sleep at night. Who struggles with depression, regret and sorrow beyond imagination. She is the one who fights the demon of suicide by clinging to the thought of those who need her as a reason to live. She is the one who wakes up after only a few hours of sleep, washes away her streaked mascara, puts on some fresh makeup with a cup of coffee nearby to start her day all over again.

She is strong, but not invincible. She is put together on the outside, but falling apart on the inside. You see to her, her pain is hers. She would much rather be selfless and help take away your pain than to share her own. She is the one that was taught to stifle her emptiness as a little girl, because her feelings didn’t matter…everyone else’s did. So she grew up to be that strong woman you know and love. Who has found miraculous and divine ways to sprout joy day after day onto everyone she knows and loves. Love her back. Return all the joy she’s brought to you because you don’t know the heavy baggage she carries for herself and everyone else.

Adriana Rivera 2018

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