The idea of perfection comes from where? Does it come from the movies we grew up with? Cinderella married the prince, but was he perfect or did Disney make it seem like he was? Did it come from our parents and their valiant efforts to not show us their imperfections? Did it come from the fronts our peers put up to make us believe their lives were perfect? Did it come from the airbrushed magazine covers and the seemingly perfect families on family tv shows where forgiveness and lightheartedness was the way around problems?
The truth that became reality was that imperfection was a much greater possibility than perfection. People, jobs, situations, children, peers, and society finally reared their imperfect heads once we arrived into adulthood. Man oh man….I believe that when little people grow up into thinking that life will be smooth sailing, they will be walking right into a slap in the face. This all can be avoided if we begin to raise our children into the understanding of how truly imperfect the world is, how unfair and potentially disappointing it really can be! The truth is that the current generation is being raised into these cushioned existences! Stop it! Fear of everything, dependency going on way too long, parents living fake love with the “fake it til you make it” mentality. Kids need to know there are disagreements, that life isn’t perfect, and they have to watch how you handle difficult situations. They have to have consequences and learn by experience. Parental hovering is doing a disservice to our kids. Anyway, total veering into parenting and this is not about that!
The truth is, is that life is not perfect and we need to recognize that perfection can be found in the imperfections. For example, our significant other had nuances that we fell in love with but then after some time those same cute little “aw” and “he’s so cute with the way he rakes the fork with his teeth when he eats” became an annoyance. Can I hear an ‘Amen’ from those who agree?
The real deal…
is that too many of us self sabotage with this perfection thinking. How you ask? By setting high unrealistic expectations for those closest to us, which only allows too much room for disappointment. Perfection isn’t reality. Perfection is simply the perception of a fantasy, of a want, wish, should be, which inevitably turns into a broken heart or a crushed dream. If we could just step back and recognize that we are all human and prone to error, poor judgment, rash decision-making and overstepping bounds, we would all live a little bit happier and relationships would last longer. Child/parent relationships could be salvaged and marriages would remain in love. Disillusionment is an inevitable slam door closing to a chapter as long as we keep holding people to the impossible status of perfection. It just is not possible. BUT what is possible is that people can come pretty close to perfection by making wise choices, by always keeping the other person at the forefront of choices, even when they are out of sight. When Love is strong and valued, we take extra care, but we must always make room for forgiveness because total perfection, my darlings, is simply not real.